"Linked By Love"

A Sermon Preached at Christos Metropolitan Community Church, Toronto, ON

and Holy Fellowship Metropolitan Community Church, London, ON

Sunday, November 16, 2003

Resonating scriptures:  Ruth 1:1-22

I know most of you (all of you?) already know that Anne and I got married two weeks ago. Today’s our two-week anniversary. And we had a bit of this passage from Ruth read at our wedding, and lo and behold, it’s now turned up in the lectionary for this Sunday. This passage is traditional for weddings. Because the Book of Ruth IS a love story, but maybe not exactly the kind of love story you might think. See..... there are all KINDS of love stories. Aren’t we all living proof of that?

And a good love story sets the tone right away. You find out things like who the main characters are, where they live, and what circumstances they find themselves in. The Book of Ruth does this in the first two verses. We learn in the first verse that there’s a famine in Bethlehem. Then the writer goes on to name the characters.

Now...... What’s in a name? I tend to stumble over Hebrew names, even though I’ve been studying Hebrew for a few years now. Sometimes I tend to skip right over them and don’t even try to pronounce them. But, one of the clues to making the Hebrew Scriptures a living book is to learn the meaning of the names of the characters. Because God’s hidden some great truths in these names. Not to mention some clues to the plot.

The story of Ruth begins with a man from Bethlehem whose name was Elimelech. Now, right away, we find some irony in the story. There’s a famine. Bethlehem, means ‘house of bread’ but during this particular time the cupboard in the house of bread was bare. So Elimelech takes his family out of the Promised Land and over to Moab, which was enemy territory. How ironic.... they flee from the house of bread to look for life in Moab, and find death there.

"Elimelech" means "my God is king," and he’s married to a woman whose name was Naomi -- which means "pleasure." Now this couple had two children whose names were Mahlon and Chilion. Mahlon means "sickly" and Chilion means "pining away." So right away, before you read any further, you already KNOW what is going to happen to these kids. There is no suspense about Mahlon and Chilion.

Anyhow, the boys went to Moab with Mom and Dad, and married a couple of Moabite girls. Their names were Ruth and Orpah - that’s Orpah, not Oprah. Now Orpah means "gazelle." But it also may mean stiff-necked, or "back of the neck," which incidentally, is about the last we see of her in this story. And then there’s Ruth, which probably means "beauty." Or it may also mean friend, or companion, or kindness.

Now that we have the cast of characters set, though, the next thing we read is that Elimelech died, Mahlon died, and Chilion died. No big surprise there, right? Calamity strikes. Naomi’s lost her husband, and both of her children. Under ancient Jewish law, when the husband died, one of the sons would have taken care of Mom but they were both gone, which left her with no one to put food on the table and worse, she’s there in Moab, with no claim to land there, ‘cause it was in her husband's name, and she’s a foreigner. And guess what.... the famine’s followed them to Moab, and there’s no food there, either.

So Naomi packs up and heads for home. And she and her daughters in law head on down the road, in grim silence. And finally, the silence is broken. Naomi turns to the two younger women and says, "You two go back. God knows you’ve been good to me, but you go back now. You’ve got a better chance of finding security among your own people." But Orpah and Ruth both respond, "Oh no! We’ll stay with you. You need us." And Naomi says "Look, I’m not having any more sons. I’m too old, as if you could wait for them to grow up to marry anyway. Let’s face it, God’s just punishing me for something. I’m jinxed. You’’ll do better going back home." So the three of them have a group hug, and they cry together, and Orpah turns back.

But Ruth says, "Don’t even ask me to leave you again. We’re family now. Where you go, I go. Your people will be my people, your God will be my God." And Naomi must have seen something in Ruth’s eyes when she said those words, because she stopped arguing. And, in truth, sometimes I wonder what Naomi COULD have said. You may have heard me say, repeatedly, that I think this is one of the most beautiful passages in scripture. "Do not press me to leave you or to turn back from following you! Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die -- and there will I be buried. May God do thus and so to me, and more as well, if even death parts me from you!"

This is an expression of love and friendship and commitment between two women who clearly love each other deeply, who have made a covenant with one another to be a family. They HAVE made a family together. Not a traditional family, but this still represents – and is universally recognized to represent – the highest kind of love and commitment. You know, I think some people would like to make more out of this than there is. Some people would maybe kind of nudge folks and go, "uh huh.... WE know what was going on there," and suggest that Ruth and Naomi might have been lovers. There is no, repeat NO suggestion of anything of the sort in the text.But there doesn’t need to be, for this to still be a STRONG message to all of us about family and relationships and commitment and love.

In leaning on God and upon each other for emotional and spiritual and physical survival, Ruth and Naomi wove a fabric of relationship that could not be torn. In difficult times they had woven a relationship that became stronger than any cultural bias. They created a home out of caring for each other when they had no other home.

Ruth's staying with Naomi was a loving choice because it elevated friendship above fear of the foreign, companionship above cultural bias, and mutuality above the security of money. This mutual leaning and caring wove a bond between them that transcended the cultural prejudices, that made traditional patriarchal family practices obsolete, and that transformed the loose ties of the in-law relationship into a fabric of fulfilling life.

You’ve seen the bumper stickers that say "Love Makes a Family"??? Well this is HOW those loving families are created. Like I said, this vow that Ruth makes is universally recognized to represent the highest form of love and commitment. This verse is so often spoken at gay unions – Lesbians are understandably VERY fond of it – but it’s also read at many, many heterosexual marriages because it’s such an affirmation of love. It speaks of creating a family. Not the traditional sort of family, but a chosen family. So even though this love story is NOT about lesbian lovers, we all do still find ourselves in the story. We too, sometimes, have to leave our homes and our families behind, and cast our lot with a NEW family, a family of choice, where we finally find love.

So, Naomi offers logic, and Ruth counters with love. Without a word of reply, Naomi simply turned around and resumed her journey, and Ruth followed her. And THAT’s pretty much all we read today. There’s more to the story though. Naomi and Ruth make it back to Bethlehem, but when they get there, they have a problem. They were economically very vulnerable. Two women, with no man to be a breadwinner. You know, it’s all well and good for us as twenty-first century women to say "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." But in those times, and in that place, a woman without a male relative to care for her could simply starve to death.

So Ruth says to Naomi, "I think I better go to the barley fields where the harvest is going on, and try to find some grain, so we can have something to eat." And while she is out gleaning fields, Ruth meets a man, Boaz, who’s a distant kinsman of Naomi’s late husband, Elimelech. And he takes her in, not because she’s some cute foreign chick, not because she happens to be very diligent about her gleaning and is a hard worker. Boaz is drawn to this woman because of the compassionate and courageous choices she’s made in elevating her relationship – her FAMILY relationship – with Naomi, over any fears she might have had about facing prejudice or hatred in a new land. Her love triumphed over any fears and any differences.

Now, the WAY all this comes about is the really juicy part of the story. The steamy scenes on the threshing room floor. You can read about that part yourself. But the upshot of it was that Boaz and Ruth got married. Now, I’m tempted at this point just to say, everyone lived happily ever after, "... and that’s the story of Ruth and Naomi." And they did seem to live happily ever after, but there are a couple of final things that need to be said.

Part of the beauty of this relationship and friendship between Ruth and Naomi, is that when Ruth and Boaz connect, Naomi isn’t left out in the dust. Ruth doesn’t take Naomi for granted. Their love for one another didn’t diminish their ability to love others. Ruth’s good fortune doesn’t lead to Naomi’s misfortune. Ruth and Naomi share great joy when either or both are blessed! Now that’s a gift from God! To care about the quality and dignity of another human being's life. To respect each other's choices. To allow for each other's differences. They never leave each other behind. That alone is sufficient to read it at weddings, I think.

And remember their names?.... We read in the Book of Ruth that when she came back to Bethlehem with nothing.... nothing! -- she had lost EVERYTHING -- Naomi was ready to give up her name, which meant "pleasure," and trade it for the name "Mara," which meant "bitterness, or brokeness." But remember what Ruth’s name means – "friend, or companion, or kindness." She truly lived up to her name.

The story of Ruth and Naomi reminds us profoundly to recognize how we’re linked by love, to recognize the ties that bind us, to live out the mutuality that can save us, and to set aside the differences that separate us. For the survival of this planet and to find happiness in this difficult life, we NEED EACH OTHER more than ever. You know, it’s no coincidence that the lectionary pairs this story of Ruth and Naomi with Jesus teaching about the greatest commandment, which is this, from the gospel of Mark: "The first [commandment] is, 'Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.' The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." That’s what it’s about.

With Ruth & Naomi, we too can rediscover and affirm the tie – God's love – which binds us all together. The tie which binds us is NOT similarity of national backgrounds or shared political opinions. We’re not always tied by bonds of blood. We are NOT bound to each other by social class or ownership. The tie that binds us is our mutual love for God. Remember what Ruth said -- "Your God shall be my God." The tie which binds us is that we can all experience, HAVE all experienced, the presence of God's love in our lives and be linked by that love.

You know, sometimes my hardest job as a pastor is just trying to help people understand that God really does love them. And it’s only when we understand that, I think, that we’re really able to live out that love in the world. Because when we do, we share a passion for God which motivates us to have compassion for each other, to STAND BY each other in our families of choice, to share each other's burdens.

We can learn something from Ruth and Naomi. And it’s so simple, and so true, that through the ages, it’s come down to us and landed on our bumper stickers. Love makes a family. We are linked to one another by love. We’re living out a love story.